


So Close, Yet So Far (Why Can't I Reach You?)

by LeeGyuAeri



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 21:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10862802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeGyuAeri/pseuds/LeeGyuAeri
Summary: "Why can't I reach you?""What are you talking about?""Nothing."





	So Close, Yet So Far (Why Can't I Reach You?)

Somehow he finds himself staring. A little wee too much and sometimes awkward glances every now and then. With those little moments and they just piled up, Byun Baekhyun thinks those moment aren’t so little anymore. It is there, all laid for the people to see on the internet.

Dispatch is sometimes really ignorant.

Then again, Baekhyun finds himself again staring, eyes half-lidded and there’s that unconscious smile forming on his lips. It is barely there, but his eyes speaks it all.

Park Chanyeol was there, sitting right beside him, animatedly talking with big hand gestures and wide smiles that he could not contain, unaware of how Baekhyun wasn’t paying attention to him anymore.

He smiles, Baekhyun does so in return.

Chanyeol locks gaze with him, eyes smiling and Baekhyun does too in return.

“Why are you so far away, Chanyeol-ah?” Baekhyun said, interrupting Chanyeol’s story maybe about his stupidity again but all was swept to the back of his mind when he saw Baekhyun smiling.

But it isn’t really a smile at all.

Something told him that it was actually… a frown. Like it’s crumbling apart.

“What do you mean? I’m literally attached to your hips Baek.” Chanyeol lightheartedly said, but it doesn’t change anything and it made the air a little damper. Baekhyun shook his head, breaking away from the eye contact and tilted his head up, up and up to where the limitless skies bare for their eyes to see. 

It was glassy, Baekhyun’s blue eyes were.

“Have you ever thought what your life would be if you aren’t an idol right now?” Baekhyun started, something in his voice enthralls Chanyeol to think about it seriously. With lips thinned and hands wide open, Chanyeol stretched out his legs, butt sore from the cemented pavement from where they both sat side by side.

“No. I guess I never really have thought of that.” Chanyeol answered. “Because I know that there is somewhere I needed to be, and it’s here.”

Baekhyun hummed in agreement, his smile a little solemn than earlier and his gaze now fell to the door in front of them. “The same goes for me.”

“Why did you ask?”

“Then, can you imagine yourself being a different person?”

“What’s with all the question –“

“Can you imagine yourself without me by your side?”

Silence ensued and Baekhyun finally looks back and saw Chanyeol staring at him, lips agape and eyes almost unreadable.

Moments like these usually made Baekhyun panic internally, not used to sitting through pregnant pauses and awkward. He was noisy himself but somehow his mind was calm, but he knew his heart begged to calm down.

_Why is it always different with Park Chanyeol._

“I’ll ask you again Yeol-ah.” Baekhyun said, voice close to cracking and eyes now a little more watery than before. “Why are you so far away? Why can’t I reach you?”

It was a plea. Baekhyun knew somewhere there deep inside him, he was already breaking down at every opportunity. That every moment, he could just say to Chanyeol that he cares, maybe a lot more than everyone would like. That every second he would love to be caged within Chanyeol’s warmth like the taller does when he’s having existential crisis.

Yet he can’t risk it all.

Why Baekhyun did risk it for this one time, he does not know either.

Before all was left to be done for, Baekhyun gradually stood up, dusting his pants off and smiling again. One tear fell, and he thought Chanyeol did not see it.

“Forget it, I was being dumb. I’ll go and rest for a while okay? Tell them I won’t have any dinner tonight.” Baekhyun said, all in one breath that he was scared if his voice would waver somewhere in between and have another breakdown again. With haste heavy steps, he leaves the heavy air behind, his wasted thoughts and maybe forget about asking Chanyeol again.

He felt Chanyeol’s eyes trailing his figure. It felt cold, the stony bars of the door a little too icy to his liking when Baekhyun reached for it. He was not able to hear the dull thud behind him, another set of footsteps following after him.

He was too disoriented at this point to hear anything.

But he was not yet numb to feel a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. Just like how he dreamt every night, alone, and he wakes up with tears staining his face because _fuck, that will never happen._

“Baekhyun, have you ever thought … what it’s like without the sun?”

Surprisingly, Baekhyun answered, arms limp by his side and he was in doubt. Should he just hug Chanyeol back?

“No, because it was in constant need to be there.”

“Can you think of why the moon always danced with the stars?”

“Because it was meant to be that way.”

“Then Baek, how can I imagine myself without you?”

At this point, Baekhyun was silently crying, his tears streaming down slowly, painfully and it fell to Chanyeol’s lean arms wrapped around his waist.

“I am never far away Baek. 'Cause when you turn your back, it’s already my turn to watch you from behind. I always do Baek.”

Chanyeol slowly disentangled his arms from Baekhyun’s waist, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him to embrace him once more. One arm caged Baekhyun, and his other slowly found its way to Baekhyun’s, his hand slowly entangling with the smaller.

It fits, perfectly.

“Can I reach out this time, Baek?” Chanyeol asked, murmured into his smooth locks that Chanyeol kissed gently. Baekhyun gripped Chanyeol’s hand tightly, his other arms now finding it’s way to embrace the giant back, to finally reach for him even closer and maybe, now, close that gap.  

With his other hand, grasping, crumpling Chanyeol’s shirt, he mumbled.

“Yes. Don’t let go?”

“I won’t. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted on my other account, in another site (yes, AFF, and my name is different there too.).  
> Thank you and I hope you guys enjoyed.  
> Oh and this was unbetaed and was not proofread.


End file.
